


Shot Through the Heart

by nugicorn



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 15:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5546111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nugicorn/pseuds/nugicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus is racked with jealousy when he's no longer "the" sniper aboard the Normandy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shot Through the Heart

Garrus groaned, sitting up in the medbay. His face was a mask of agony. He wasn't sure he even wanted to know what it looked like.

"Back with us, are you?" Chakwas approached his cot, smiling. "Just so you're aware, I generally don't advise stopping rockets with one's face." She shined a light first in one eye, then the other, clucking to herself in a satisfied sort of way.

He chuckled, then had to groan again. You knew you'd fucked up when it hurt to laugh. "I'll remember that one, Doctor. Maybe have it tattooed on my arm or something."

"Couldn't hurt." She tapped a few notes into her omni, then nodded. "Well, you don't seem much the worse for wear. You'll want to get your colony markings touched up eventually, I suppose. But you are free to run around the ship. Do try not to get yourself killed again for two or three days, would you?"

Snorting, Garrus slid off the medbay cot. Chakwas's version of bed rest, he guessed; _try_ not to die for a couple days. "I'll do my best. Where's Shepard?"

"In life support, I believe. Picked up a new recruit while you were out. Sniper; a biotic drell who used to do assassinations for the Compact. Shepard thinks he'll be useful." She raised an eyebrow. "Handsome fellow, too," she added, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Trying not to pout, Garrus stalked out of the medbay without responding. _But I'm the sniper,_ he whined to himself.

§

Garrus caught up with Shepard at the elevator, then trailed her back to the mess. "Looks like we're following the Shepard to hell and back again," he said.

Shepard grinned. "You know you wouldn't have it any other way, big guy." She grabbed a coffee, horrible dark stuff that no other human on the first _Normandy_ would even drink. Turkey-something; he could never remember. He wondered vaguely if she'd found anyone to drink it with.

 _Not the drell, surely._ "Well, it's good to be back. I hear we have some new recruits?" He waited, mandibles thrumming anxiously while she ran down the list; human biotics from Cerberus, of all groups; a salarian genius, former STG; a prison escapee with biotic power rivalling a white dwarf; and of course ….

"We also have a drell on board, one Thane Krios." Shep took a sip of her awful brew, eyes sliding closed in apparent rapture.

Jealousy twisted under his carapace. _That look better be about the damn coffee._

"He's apparently quite the sniper, too," Shep continued. "Thought I'd put him on mission once you were up again, see what you think." She opened one grey eye, evaluating him.

 _Damnation._ Why did human faces have to be so hard to read? He had no idea what she was thinking. "I'd be happy to lend you my sniping expertise. I'm sure he's an _adequate_ new addition to the team." Surely not more than that; Garrus was the sniper expert around here.

Shepard snickered, muttering under her breath. "'Sniping' is right."

"Pardon?" Garrus turned, already out of his seat and planning to go get ready for the mission. He had to be at his absolute best to show up this … what did the humans call it? Jimmy-come-lately?

"Nothing." She shook her head, red curls bouncing. "We don't drop for a few hours yet, though."

"I'll find something to do." Punch a wall. Yell at an ensign. Something.

§

Garrus padded into the armory on silent feet. _Not stalking,_ he insisted to himself. _Just moving quietly with the intent of not startling him._

The drell wore no armor, evidently preferring to keep his speed and rely on only whatever biotic shielding he could muster.

 _Weak,_ Garrus decided, ignoring that he could see a ridiculous amount of muscle through the open-chested shirt. _Show-off._ He only realized he was growling when the drell turned, smiling.

"Sere Vakarian. Shepard told me you'd be dropping with us today." He smiled, a little too easily. He approached, a little too fluidly.

Garrus only barely fought back his mandibles from flashing an immediate challenge. "Yes. I fought with her the first time. Against Saren and Sovereign. You probably never heard about it." He crossed his arms and leaned casually against what he thought was the wall, trying for an air of casual, indifferent arrogance that failed miserably when he nearly fell over. He rebalanced quickly, hoping the drell hadn't seen that.

"On the contrary. Commander Shepard and I exchanged stories while you were recovering from your incident. I only hope I can live up to her expectations."

Bristling, Garrus felt it as a slight. _Like you didn't live up to them, he means. Like you nearly got yourself killed as soon as she showed up again._ He had no choice now but to issue a challenge.

"I heard you're a sniper, too," Garrus snarled. "Care for a little wager?"

Krios blinked overlarge, dark eyes. "What kind of wager did you have in mind?"

"Simple kill count. Hundred credits per for the winner, over the count the _loser_ gets." His mandibles flicked. _Take it, you overconfident piece of shit, so I can prove to Shep who the sniper is around here._

"Are you sure the finances of a … retired vigilante could weather such a bet?"

And the smarmy little bastard had the gall to _smirk_ when he said it.

"I think after I take my winnings off you, I'll take Shepard out for a night on the town." _Have to claim your territory. No matter what the threat is, protect your own._

"That sounds lovely. I think when I win, I shall do the same." That little smirk on his face again, the supreme overconfidence.

_You're going down._

§

He didn't.

"Nice work out there," Shepard said, thumping the little drell on the shoulder. "Uh, both of you," she added, smiling at Garrus.

They'd gone twenty-three and twenty-three. Dead heat. "We're doing this again," he growled.

The drell only smiled. "As you like. Would you care to make it more of a challenge? I chose not to embarrass you, but …."

Infuriated, Garrus heard his own subvocals waver out of control. "Two hundred! Head shots only."

"Agreed."

§

Endless waves of reaper ground troops, inside the spookiest possible dead ship he'd ever seen. But he was winning, he was sure of it. He was in the high forties now, and they still hadn't gotten out of the damn thing.

 _Fifty-six!_ he crowed to himself, dragging the geth corpse back onto the ship. "What's your … number, Krios?"

"Number?" Shepard panted.

Thane, somehow not strained at all carrying his share of the geth, answered her. "We have a bit of a wager at the moment. And I had fifty-six, Sere Vakarian."

"You're _joking,"_ Garrus snapped, dropping the synthetic.

Shepard yelped as she fell over the suddenly immobile geth platform.

"Fifty-six," Garrus snapped at the drell. " _Exactly_ fifty-six." It wasn't credible; he had to be lying.

"Well, unless I missed counting a couple … there was that one area where they came too fast, I may have gotten more." Thane's eyes narrowed in thought, as if he were trying to remember.

"Bullshit," Garrus snarled. He couldn't let the arrogant little drell show him up like this.

"Um, hello? Ow?" Shepard lay sprawled across the geth still, red curls fallen into her face.

"Sorry, Shep." His mandibles flicked as he helped her to her feet. "I'll get Grunt to help, you take a load off."

"Don't take too long. I want to boot it up." She glanced between Thane and Garrus. "And figure out this testosteroney bullshit already, would you?"

Garrus flushed, mandibles slamming tight against his face.

Thane, as always, wore that beatific smile that made Garrus want to smack him.

"Don't know why you think sniping's the way to impress your commander, anyway," Shep grumbled, pushing past them and out into the hall.

§

Shep was going to kill him if he didn't settle this soon. Garrus checked his sniper rifle, the damn drell doing the same beside him. Further up, Shepard stood next to the new synthetic crewma—ah, crew _person,_ he supposed.

Garrus muttered to the drell out of the side of his mouth. "Krios. Once more. The only shots that count are through the left eye. A thousand credits apiece."

The drell nodded. "Difficult to confirm. Especially for such … high stakes."

Chuffing, Garrus flicked his mandibles. "Legion, you wanna come here a minute? We need a solid."

"This unit is unsure of what you mean." Eye-flaps moved, showing confusion. Surprisingly, Garrus found him easier to read than the humans; eye-flaps moved almost the same as mandibles, for various … wait, did synthetics have emotions? He'd have to ask later.

"He means we would be grateful if you could do us a favor," Thane explained.

"Data incomplete: what favor do you wish?" More flapping, more confusion … but he also seemed … almost eager, as if he wanted to be one of the group.

"Just keep track of how many shots each of us get directly through the left eye of a target."

"Acknowledged."

Garrus flew through the abandoned base, feeling as if he were touched by spirits. Thane kept pace, with Legion just behind. Enemies fell under their fire, none of them close enough to even see who had felled them. By the end of the mission, rendezvousing with Tali, Shepard could only shake her head.

"Shepard!" Tali buzzed. "Thank goodness you came. What is … what is the deal with those two and the crazy eyes?" she asked.

"Some kind of stupid contest they're doing," Shep said, rolling her eyes. "They seem to be fighting for my attentions, as ridiculous as that sounds," she added in a whisper.

Tali giggled, and Garrus did his best not to notice.

 _Thane_ actually seemed completely oblivious.

Shep straightened, barking her orders out in a way that made it clear she was not to be disobeyed. "Well, it's over now. I swear, this is the last one. So spill it, Leej. What's the final score?"

"Acknowledged, Commander. Final score rests as follows. Krios: thirty-seven kills confirmed directly through left eye."

Tali let out a low whistle. "Well, that's impress—"

Legion continued without letting her finish. "Vakarian: forty-nine kills confirmed directly through left eye."

"Ha!" Garrus couldn't help gloating. He'd done it. He grinned at Shepard, knowing he'd earned her esteem back, finally. After such an embarrassing two years, topped by the final humiliation on Omega—

"And finally, this unit: seventy-eight kills confirmed directly through left eye."

" _Keelah."_

Garrus's mandibles dropped.

Thane, for once, actually looked discomfited.

Shep looked at Tali, grinning. "Well, I guess the result is clear." She slipped her arm through Legion's, and headed off to the ship; leaving Garrus and Thane in shock while Tali dissolved into giggles.


End file.
